No Victims

Posted on Jan 20, 2014

By Jeff Taylor

I’m reading a great book called Monday Morning Choices, by David Cottrell. It is a motivating reminder that we all have the power to create the success we desire, regardless of external events or influences.

In his book, Cottrell asks whether the salesperson earning $250,000 annually has five times the intellect or ability than the one earning $50,000.

What do you think? The answer is of course not. Most people are actually within 10% of the same IQ and most work about the same number of hours and the same number of days per week.

Then what makes the difference between the successful and unsuccessful people?

The biggest difference is that successful people make choices that non successful people don’t like to make, and by doing things differently, they make choices that improve their success.

Did you know that successful people have just as hard a time making difficult choices as everyone else? The difference is that they persist – they stick with it, realizing that there is usually a reward for making the difficult choices. Their personal and professional goals are vivid in their minds and they understand that the results they will achieve are well worth the price of a difficult choice.

One of the most important choices successful people make is to not be a victim. They simply refuse to adopt the “victim mentality.”

A person with the victim mentality is one to whom life “happens.” There always seems to be some external (and often logical) reason that they fell short or didn’t accomplish what they set out to do. Some of those “victim” reasons include:
• The economy declined
• The customer backed out
• The boss didn’t like her
• He had bad luck
• Other people get all the breaks

Look for these signs of being a “victim,” either in yourself or in others.
• The victim is more of a passenger than a driver of his or her life. He goes where life takes him.
• To the victim, bad things just seem to happen to her.
• The victim can give you a list of reasons why things didn’t turn out well, none of which are his fault.

The non-victim, on the other hand, takes responsibility for achieving his or her goals. Like the victim, she knows that bad things will happen; that customers will change their minds, that the economy will go up & down, and that some people just may not like her. But she refuses to let external circumstances or events defeat her. Instead, she decides to stay in the driver’s seat and steer her way around and through life’s challenges.

Remember, no one can make you a victim without your consent. No one! So stop allowing yourself to dwell on unfair things that happen to you. Instead move forward. As a wise man once said, “don’t let your past eat your future.”

Here are Three Things You Can Do to Make the No-Victim Choice:
1. Expect the unexpected. Things beyond your control will happen. How you respond to the unexpected events that come your way is how you regain control.
2. Look for alternatives. There are always alternatives if you choose to look for them. Don’t become paralyzed by falling into the victim trap.
3. Spend your energy searching for solutions, not excuses. No matter what happens, keep moving – one foot in front of the other – toward your personal and professional goals.

Everyone falls into the victim mode from time to time. But as you decide take responsibility for your choices and your outcomes, you will achieve greater results, find more satisfaction and enjoy true success in your life.

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